There were a variety of powered conveyances and it was over before I had a chance to announce it here but in the end the burner was boat captain functionoverfashion!
What happens now?
I will notify the next Opponaught that has volunteered to login to a Reddit account that I will supply and start a thread on /r/Oppositelock. In that thread they will be mercilessly interrogated by our crack team of Opponaught detectives with car related questions. They will answer all the car questions truthfully.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to head over to Reddit and ask the car related questions that burn brightest in your soul in an effort to divine which Opponaught is answering your questions. Anyone that wants to volunteer to be behind the burner should PM me on Reddit, where I am also CalzoneGolem.