I bought a black 2015 Corolla. It's quiet, it's comfortable, it's great on gas, and it has a CVT. There is plenty of trunk space for transporting my collection of vintage driving gloves, it has a stylish look, and nice looking interior. The only problem is the color...beige.


I've been on Jalopnik for a long time and I know that beige is bad. Beige is the war on fun, the assault on driving dynamics, and the onslaught of numbness. Beige is the 30-something professional, driving in trafffic to the job they hate, listening to Kenny G and drinking a venti iced caramel macchiato with double espresso. I have also been on Jalopnik long enough to know that everyone is full of shit and/or a professional commute-racecar driver.

I like beige. Beige is comfortable and safe. Beige is easy maintenance and peace of mind at the pump. I don't have to worry about a rival street racing club slashing my tires or stealing my domo pendant while I'm at Chipotle. I don't have to worry about a single thing, except other drivers and traffic patterns. You know, the usual stuff drivers have to pay attention to. I haven't given up on life and I certainly haven't lost my love of the automotive world. They are two distinct parts of my life that must remain so. I can't daily drive a race car and I can't take my daily driver to the track. Driving a manual is fun but it was the single worst part of my commute. I made the adult decision and bought the Corolla.

Sure, I could've traded in my Wrangler for a Miata, or a Panther, or any of the other circle-jerk vehicles beloved by so many here. That would have been a terrible decision made my a man-child. I could only afford one car, DD to get to work or a zoom zoom race car. I made the tough decision to put my career, my girl friend, and my family in front of my pipe dreams of "apexing exit ramps and heel toe shifting in 15mph traffic." We can touch on how ridiculous it is how people do those things on public roads in their daily drivers but its not worth the time (justification > realization).


Do not judge me for being beige. Judge me for talking down to you in this write up.