What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Benjamin J. Rolland for Mod Status

Oppo, you need mod leadership you can get behind. One of you in The Mod House. Not someone who “has experience” or “works with computers”. You need someone who is going to whip this place into shape. Which is why I would like to announce that I’m running for mod status. Divided, we fall. But together, we can maybe get one of us (me) a seat as a mod. With Ben as a mod you can rest assured I’m incorruptible. I can’t be bought by big commenter. I also stand behind traditional oppo values, that is, posting ridiculous cars and attempting to get a press car by saying you’re from jalopnik. Other kinjas are laughing at us, and we can’t have that. We must prove that we are the greatest Kinja in the world. I promise to build a firewall that will keep those from bullshift and cigar lounge out, and I will make them pay for it. I will take back our posts from the sub blogs and get back to making our authorship and essay output the best in Kinja. Stand behind Rolland! Make Oppo Great Again!


Edit: Free hellcats and blackbirds for everyone if I get elected.

Edit 2: my campaign song is chosen:

Share This Story

Get our newsletter