After the jump - a summary of a sales visit today where I completely crushed the sale, got flirted with by a cute secretary, and had the best day at work ever. KLR tengai for your time...

Illustration for article titled Best customer visit ever.

A rather high volume professional cleaning company in my state contacted me since a cleaner they’ve been using for years is being discontinued. So I worked my magic and the exact quote over the phone was “this stuff kicks the ass of everything else on our van! What else ya got?”. This made the company president and I give them a visit and show off some of my other formulas. Quick summary of that part - it went really well and we got a large contract secured made almost entirely of formulas I’ve invented either here or at past employers (a boat cleaner I made for the French navy was remade and rebranded for cleaning boats on the great lakes. This is much less interesting than it sounds)

The real spring in my step came from the moment we walked in the door. See, I’ve got a full beard, and I’m a bit of a larger guy with some longer hair. It’s styled, but my hair tends to fall around chin length for.most of the hair on my head. I’m often wearing the company polos, teamed wth blue jeans bearing chemical stains and holes from where acids and bases have worn away someholes. My boss, the company president, is a thin, svelte, blonde haired, blue eyed 24 year old Dutch boy with some scruffy facial hair and all his outfits cost a minimum of 4 figures.


We enter the office of this place and are treated by their secretary. She’s in her early 30s, rather short and petite and cute as a damn button. Also, packing a very sharp tongue and refusing to pull punches. She looks at me, and practically melts and is all “Oooohhhh, I LOVE your beard. And that HAIR! Ooooohhh, you can grow a proper beard!”. So far, so good. She then looks at my boss and goes “Ewww, so, you need to shave that scruff. Some guys can grow a beard and you? You can’t. Let him handle the beard. You need to do something else with that face”

I’ve never had to show self control quite like that moment where I had to stifle so much laughter. We’re shown into the conference room and while we wait for the customer, I still have a stupid grin on my face. My boss looks at me and just immediately retorts “I sign your paychecks. Remember that.”. Aaaaaannnnndddd that was pretty much the ultimate sign that it got under his skin. Day made. Best day at work ever.


Tl;Dr - cute secretary flirted with me and dunked on my boss in the same breath, and then my invented formulas were a big hit and we signed some very lucrative supply contracts.

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