I use Filemaker for my own databases, because ain’t nobody got time for that SQL bullshit. So I was Googling to see how I could get a list of only unique results from Filemaker and happened upon this thread: https://community.filemaker.com/thread/152540

My takeaway from it is that Bill really, really wants you to execute some SQL. Like, really. Like, even if your problem is solved, Bill still wants you to know you could have used ExecuteSQL. Do you think Bill is fucking kidding? Bill is not fucking kidding. Bill wants you to execute that SQL like it’s 1946 in Nuremberg and SQL was an SS commander.


Director never replied, but I think it’s safe to say that Bill ran

ExecuteDirector (

“SELECT DIRECTOR \ “People_who_won’t_use_ExecuteSQL\”

FROM \ “Motherfuckers”;

“Who is laughing now?”

I love database people. I’m not even a database person, and I’ll still go on a 30 minute rave about that one time that I made a dynamic value list.