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Breaking: Car Pulls Dick Move On Seller

The face of vindication
The face of vindication

A local man tried to sell his 1984 Corvette to a friend of his father’s on Saturday, only to find out that his car had other plans. After he had fixed a myriad of problems on the car and regularly drove it for a couple of weeks without issue, the car was brought home and driven to the garage. Ten minutes later—as the interested party sat in the driver’s seat and was beckoned to fire up the car—it refused to turn over. After such an embarrassment, attention turned to the cosmetic condition of the car. The opportunity to impress the potential buyer with the impeccable mechanical condition and driving experience was thus squandered and he was scared off by the greatly inferior exterior and the vehicle’s rough edges. A loose starter connection was later found to be the culprit, but it was too late; the car had perfect timing in dislodging the wire and, in doing so, had foiled the plot of its sale. When asked for comment, the owner advocated for the reintroduction of the controversial 2009 “cash for clunkers” federal program.


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