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BREAKING: Sweden Attack Terrorists Implicated In The Bowling Green Massacre

The massive terror attack that claimed 56 billion lives in Sweden last night also featured evidence of the Bowling Green Massacre. Investigators picking through the rubble have found numerous blood-stained corvette emblems. The Emblems were stolen from the GM corvette factory as the terrorists made their get away.

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“This attack on american soil will not be tolerated.” Said President Trump today during a rally. “The state of Sweden is the greatest. Just tremendous. Horrible loss of life. Well will stop the american carnage against Sweden once and for all.” Our reporters attempted to correct Mr. Trump on Sweden’s status as part of the United States, but he shouted us down. “FAKE NEWS! Terrorists attacked billions of americans, and you want me to believe they aren’t one of us? Lies!”

The prime minister nee governor of sweden did not return our requests for interview. We did receive an email from his office stating, ‘Stoppa världen. Jag vill kliva av.’

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