I can’t really add any more to this story that it already has (thank god).....

Isn’t it nice to hear heart-warming stories around the holidays? In case your meter was running low, you can always count on Brockton – which was newly crowned the 16th worst place to live in the country – to come through in the clutch with your fill of outlandish, impossible nonsense. Let’s introduce you to today’s profile in courage – Brockton native, Carlos Cardoso.

Carlos has the dubious distinction of being both – a notorious offender of motor vehicle violations with multiple DUIs, and a professional driving instructor of young teens. I could not make this up if I tried. Welcome to Brockton.

Enterprise – Cardoso, the owner of a Brockton driving school was arrested and charged with drunken driving after State Police pulled him over on Route 24 in West Bridgewater in a company vehicle.

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Carlos Cardoso, 62, of 112 N. Warren Ave., Apt. 1, Brockton was charged with drunken driving, marked lanes violation and negligent operation of a motor vehicle.

In addition, while being booked, police said he went on a tirade where he defecated on the floor of his cell and smeared his feces around the cell, court records show.

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He is the owner of the Cardoso Driving School, 65 Pleasant St., Brockton.

State Police received a call about an erratic driver on Route 24 South in Brockton about 9:55 p.m. Monday. The vehicle had Cardoso Driving School signs and a student driver placard on it, State Police spokesman David Procopio said.

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Trooper Brent Pereira located Cardoso, driving a gray 2008 Toyota Camry, as he was turning off the highway in the rain onto Route 106 in West Bridgewater, Procopio said.

“While on the ramp I observed the Toyota to be swerving and striking the granite curbing at the roadsides,” Pereira wrote in a police report obtained by The Enterprise. “The Toyota crossed over the lane way and struck the center granite dividing island before swerving back to the right side of the road.”

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As Pereira attempted to pull Cardoso over he turned onto the on ramp of Route 24 North and eventually stopped, court records show. Periera said he saw smoke coming from the front end of the vehicle from the prior collisions as he approached.

While speaking with Cardoso, Pereira said he noticed a strong odor of alcohol on his breath.

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When asked for his license, “He opened the wallet and took out a credit card and attempted to hand it to me,” Pereira wrote in his report.

He told the trooper that he was on his way home and had “a few beers” earlier, court records show.

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Cardoso was “unsteady” on his feet and failed multiple field sobriety tests, court records show. He was placed under arrest and his car was towed.

While being booked at the Middleboro State Police barracks, Cardoso was initially cooperative and then became agitated, court records show.

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During the booking process, Cardoso asked to use the bathroom. After coming back to from the bathroom he said he had to go again and was told to wait and he defecated in his pants, court records show.

When he was brought to a cell to clean himself up, he became further agitated and took off his pants and began to “spread” his feces on the floor and bench of the cell and swore and yelled at the trooper, court records show.