Since I went out of my way to talk some pretty mad shit about Ford/Lincoln’s line-up I figure it’s only fair that I provide my thoughts on what the company should actually be rolling out to market before I dive into episode #2 of Really, That’s Your Vehicle Lineup?

Oh and also, go vote here for what you want the next edition to be on!

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First things first. Quit with the N/A engines. Namely the fucking V6 and I4 ones, you aren’t good at it. I’m telling you, the only engines you need are the; 1.5L EcoBoost, 2.0L EcoBoost, 2.3L EcoBoost, 2.7L EcoBoost, 3.3L EcoBoost, the F-150's new diesel (I forget if you people know which engine it is or not yet and I’m too lazy to Google it right now), and the 6.7L PowerStroke. Notice there’s no gas V8 in there? That’s right bitches, the 5.0/5.2 doesn’t need to exist for Ford to be successful.

Now before all of you scream foul, hear me out. Assuming the 3.3L behaves roughly the same as the 3.5L under boost (except w/ direct injection and some other goodies), it should make a remarkable amount of power, especially in a high-output twin-turbo tune, for the 3.5L that’s about 375HP & 470 Lb*Ft in non-Raptor trim. Compare that to the 5.0L V8's 385 HP and 387 Lb*Ft and you have to ask the question, “Why the fuck would I want the V8?” And before you make the whole, “But under load the fuel economy!” argument, look some of that shit up for the actual truck. Yes on paper that argument works. In the real world? The EcoBoost does very well.

Now you may say, “BUT WAT ABOOT THA ‘STANG BRUH?!” To which I repply, You wouldn’t want a 450 HP (Or more?) 3.3L EcoBoost mustang? Because I fucking would.

So without further ado, here’s my proposed lineup:

  • Focus: 1.5EB, 1.5EB High-Output, 2.3EB High-Output
  • Mustang: 2.3EB, 3.3EB, 3.3EB High-Output
  • GT: 3.3EB High-Output
  • Fusion: 1.5EB, 2.0EB, 2.3EB
  • Escape: 1.5EB, 2.0EB, 2.3EB
  • Explorer: 2.0EB, 2.7EB, 3.3EB
  • Bronco: 2.7EB, 3.3EB, 3.3EB High-Output
  • Ranger: 2.7EB, 3.3EB
  • Expedition: 3.3EB, 3.3EB High-Output
  • F-150: 2.7EB, 3.3EB, 3.3EB High-Output, Diesel
  • Super Duty: 3.3EB High-Torque, 6.7L PowerStroke
  • Oh yea and some hybrid variants thrown in but I for-sure don’t want to get fired so I’m not gonna talk about that)

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Now if you’re not good at counting or just too fucking lazy, that’s 9 total variants, and only 6 completely unique engines. (Unless I miscounted, in which case please correct me)

Oh and I almost forgot Lincoln!

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P.S. If you want to get really good click numbers, only post at ridiculous times at night on weekdays...