If you didn’t catch my last edition of, Really, That’s Your Vehicle Lineup? Then feel free to read through that real quick before I delve into the direction I think the company should go!

Note: Any engine designations with * aftermeans I’m refering to a next generation of the engine. If you people want I can dig into what I’d like to see added to the engines in question.

First and foremost: Jeep just release a fucking pickup already. You know people will buy it, just do it. I guess that’s as good a lead in as I’ll have, let’s go!

Jeep

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  • Renegade
    Honestly think they’ve got the right mindset with this one. Only change is ditching the 2.4L
    Powertrains: 1.4L Turbo*, 2.0L Turbo
  • Compass:
    Man they really screwed everything up by making the Cherokee the goofy looking fuck and not giving it this face. Too late to change it now though. I’d want to see them radicalaize the design of the Compass at it’s mid-cycle in 2020/2021 as well as release a hybrid version of the vehicle, ideally as soon as late 2018.
    Powertrains: 1.4L Turbo*, 2.0L Turbo, 1.4L Turbo Hybrid
  • Cherokee:
    For fucks sake they need to fix this things front end up a bit. MCR needs to give it a more Grand Cherokee esque face and a more elaborate version of the Trailhawk, I’m thinking a 2.4L Turbo HO Trailcat
    Powertrains: 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Turbo*
  • Grand Cherokee:
    Don’t ruin your best seller, other than some powertrain changes leave it alone:
    Powertrains: 2.4L Turbo*, 2.2L Diesel, 3.6L Turbo*, 3.6L Bi-Turbo*
  • Wrangler:
    I’ll hold off on anything crazy until the next gen is rolled out in the near future. I’d like to see this engine lineup though (I’ve seen the presumed list, it’s too many for just the US market for sure):
    Powertrains: 2.0L Turbo, 2.2L Diesel, 2.4L Turbo
  • Scrambler:
    Yea bitch that’s right. Based off the next gen Wrangler platform, Shares the engine lineup. Directly competes with the Ranger/Colorado/Canyon. Obligatory Trailcat is obligatory
    Powertrains: 2.0L Turbo, 2.2L Diesel, 2.4L Turbo*, 2.4L Bi-Turbo*

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Chrysler

Yea I said it. Fight me.

Ram

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I’m not going to dig into the fleet side of Ram, partially because it would take forever, partially because I don’t give a fuck. Here’s the rest.

  • 1200
    AKA fuck the Dakota name. Lower market version of the Scrambler, essentially re-uses everything except the body paneling.
    Powertrains: 2.0L Turbo*, 2.2L Diesel, 2.4L Turbo*
  • 1500
    I’m looking for the next gen to implement more aluminum in the body, other than that I don’t expect nor want any crazy changes. Here’s the powertrain I want though.... Oh yea and I want the 5.7L gone.... Oops... Oh and I want a 6.2L V8 Raptor competitor... Yea I want it as the 6.2L not a 3.6L TT... I’m crazy ok?
    Powertrain: 2.4L Turbo*, 3.0L Diesel*, 3.6L Turbo*, 6.2L DI*
  • 2500/2500
    Nothing too crazy, more aluminum here as well.
    Powertrain: 3.6L Turbo*, 6.2L DI*, 6.7L Diesel*

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Dodge

  • Coronet
    Yea that’s right. Gotta shake up the car segment somehow right? Why not bring back the Coronet nameplate. Base it on the current 200 platform. Target Fusion sales specifically.
    Powertrains: 1.4L Turbo*, 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Bi-Turbo, 1.4L Turbo Hybrid*
  • Charger:
    Nothing crazy here, give it an all aluminum body if it doesn’t have it already. Oh and add on a luxo-package line similar to BMW’s sport/luxury model lines they did on the 3 series for a while.
    Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Turbo, 3.6L Turbo, 3.6L Bi-Turbo... Wait shit I said nothing crazy... Fuck
  • Challenger
    Umm... Nothing too... Yea my bad. Same shit as above.
    Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Turbo, 3.6L Turbo, 3.6L Bi-Turbo.
  • Century:
    Honestly I just picked a name and I’m going with it. Escape sized CUV, all aluminum, based on the Compass but with no off-road version and a high-end luxury option... Oh and an SRT option.
    Powertrains: 1.4L Turbo*, 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Bi-Turbo, 1.4L Turbo Hybrid*
  • Journey:
    Complete re-engineering of the current journey, based off the Cherokee platform, same adjustments as the Century/Compass
    2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Turbo*, 2.4L Bi-Turbo*
  • Durango
    Nothing crazy, more aluminum, maybe drop the base price slightly if possible.
    Powertrain: 2.4L Turbo*, 2.2L Diesel, 3.6L Turbo*, 3.6L Bi-Turbo*
  • Grand Caravan
    Take everything the current T&C has and put a Dodge face on it.
    Powertrain: 2.0L Turbo, 2.4L Turbo, 1.4L Turbo Hybrid*
  • Daytona
    Oh you thought I was done? Shit no! Based off the current Alfa 4C. Starting price ~$40,000 and no auto option.
    Powertrain: 1.4L Turbo*, 2.4L Turbo*, 2.4L Bi-Turbo*

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Fiat

I couldn’t find a gravestone. Sue me.

Alfa Romeo

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FCA please stop fucking around and move them up the luxo-scale.

  • 4C
    Move it up in price to ~$65,000 base, add engine options and more luxury options, no manual option... See what I did there?
    Powertrain: 2.4L Turbo, 2.9L TT
  • Giulia
    WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS START AT $38,000?!? Up the base options/quality and start it at $48,000+
    Powertrain: 2.4L Turbo, 2.9L TT (I mean they already have it), 3.6L Bi-Turbo
  • Stelvio:
    Move the base price up to $55,000, up the base options.
    Powertrain: 2.2L Diesel, 2.9L TT, 3.6L Bi-Turbo

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I’m sure all of you will strongly dispute all of this so let’s hear it! What are your thoughts?

P.S. For the record that’s 12 engines total (I think I counted right) and 10 SRT models (Not counting the Alfas).