I’ve heard you people of oppo, loud and clear. You want to know what I think of the new G-wagon that was recently “leaked”. Also, thank you I have been working out.

So what do I think of it?

To tell you the truth, I could fit all my feelings about it into my store brand sandwich bag of care.

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Its a thing that no longer does the thing it was meant to do, but its been appropriated to do other things that it doesn’t do well, but this one does those things less not-well than the other one that did those things less well than the new one does. Its new and improved you see.

So good job buyers of a thing that doesn’t do the thing that made you like them not quiet enough to put up with the things that come with territory of the things you like about it, you now own a thing that looks like that but without actually having to...you know...BE that. We’re all impressed with your digital watch, btw.