If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

But What Does HHFP Have to Say About it?

Didn’t we just...I swear we...nah. Here is a VW truck

Its called the ATLAS as you can clearly see from the front of the...wait...Im hearing that VW already has a vehicle called the Atlas and that this pickup will be called the Tamagotchi, or Tea Leaves...Oakwood? Truck. Its called the VW truck.


Anyway here is the important stuff:

  • It’s a full size unibody 4 door short bed pickup, a niche that not even Mercedes Benz has bothered to fill yet
  • One should expect best in class...er...class competitive...some Hp and Torque from the new, advanced...VR6 engine.
  • Payload and towing ratings: should be ignored as no one cares how much mulch you can put in there that one time you redid your yard or how much of the same boat you can tow with this or literally any other mid-sized crossover.
  • VW expects mileage figures to...exist and there should be a nicely muted porsche burble buried in a sea of resonators and mufflers.

Anyway, VW feels confident that this vehicle will quiet critics that say they don’t know what they hell they are doing in America by offering them a truck dammit, you people love trucks, right?! Citing exceptional sales of the only other unibody import marque truck, the Honda Ridgeline, as a reason to enter this burgeoning marking place.

“We feel our long history of rugged, dependable work vehicles will strike a chord with our loyal user base in North America.” Adding “we fully expect this to be the start of a new new chapter of VW in America.”


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