Lets imagine for a moment that you’re the Mayor of one of the world’s largest, one of the most populated and important cities. What vehicle would your finest men and women use to protect the citizenry and serve the communities of this vast, 527 sqkm city?

Which company makes the vehicle of choice to weather and ford this jungle of rebar, steel, concrete and asphalt? Well, naturally you choose Polaris ATVS.

Those things cost at least 7000 dollars (assuming they bought the asthmatic 45o HO) here which is a stupid amount of money considering your normal police car, the Ford Fusion hybrid is 26,000 dollars. Yes, it’s a lot more money, but you can actually store criminals in the back of it, and do more than 100km/h, and like... corner, and not pollute the city and deafen the citizens...

Plus, lets forget for a moment that we don’t need ATVs to patrol a densely populated city, why the fuck Polaris? Sure, they’re good, but your neighboors actually make the BRP ATVs, which are better in every way, in my experience as an unbiased owner of a BRP SXS, obviously.

It isn’t the stupidest display of idiocy that the GDF has shown in the purchasing of cars, this was:

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Yes, that’s the Jeep wrangler, dressed up as an “enviormental patrol.”

These environmental patrols are meant to stop and test vehicles suspected producing many contaminants or being late on the smog test. Nevermind that the Jeep Wrangler is in the EPA’s list of least efficient vehicles for sale, or that the smallish two door jeep produces twice as many tailpipe CO2 emissions as the aforementioned Fusion, never mind that it is also a lot more expensive.

This place truly is, as Breton put it, surreal.