Call me MissMercedes*2

Cuz I almost just got two bikes impounded because my landlord is a lazy insufferable fucking cunt. Story comes below (lots of language).

Illustration for article titled Call me MissMercedes*2

Story broken up because copied from FB Messenger.


I used to park my bike locked up to the apartment. Then they said I couldn’t do that and said I had two permits for parking and I could park it in my other parking spot


The permits are dangly tags that you hang in your windshield.

Can’t really put that on a bike in a secure way that can’t easily be stolen and I didn’t even think they would expect to


Long story short I came home today and came out to a flatbed trying to wrangle my bikes onto it. Had to pay $185 for him to fuck off and go in a yelling match over the phone with my landlady.

Would have been $1000 if I didn’t happen to come outside in time.

The problem is there are more apartments than there are parking spaces

One of my fucking neighbors has been calling and complaining for weeks about the bikes


I was gonna take the Honda to my dad’s house after c&c next week anyways

And the Kawasaki is getting sold as soon as possible

I have four offers on it

Right now they’re in front of a security camera at work

I just love that it’s two months rent to get your vehicle back

This sort of shit is why I laugh at my dad when he says buying is a bad idea for some ridiculous reason


Gotta replace appliances and fix the house and deal with the changing market whatever

Not subject to the whims of some stupid cunt who doesn’t even have an email address and is never at her office


I said that about it being stolen and she haughtily told me other people have been managed and I said “good for them” and she said “ I don’t have to take this” and I told her to fuck herself

At least the tow truck guy was kinda cool I guess. He only charged me $175 to cover him coming out there. He could have charged me $175 per bike. He was an employee of the city impound lot so if I happened to lose my shit any more than I did and laid a hand on him it would have been felony assault of a public official. Came close, though.


Yay. Hello stress.

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