All anyone wants to talk about is the coming age of autonomous cars. How about a new car that my wife bought this year? A 2015 VW Golf R; it has all the modern conveniences which include lane departure alerts, blind spot alerts, parking sensors, seat belt sensors all of which make the same noise and require you to look at the center console to figure out what the problem is.

In other words they are useless as they require me to first stop looking where I should be and then look where the danger isn’t. Add to these fine features a GPS that doesn’t know street names. “Turn left then turn right.” Useless.

The same manufacturers that require you to purchase this outdated, and potentially dangerous equipment are quickly slapping together the cars of the future which will drive themselves while apparently requiring you to become a systems operator rather than a driver.

I like driving. Some day when I’m old and feeble and require and extra layer of undergarment; in a future time where I might confuse the accelerator and brake these autonomous vehicles might be a necessity. So here is what I want.

I want an Airstream. Fully autonomous luxury that I don’t have to operate.

Advertisement

I want to be able to get in, tell it where I want to go while I relax and have a beverage, or sit on the commode while in transit.

So when manufacturers can swap this photo for a camper full of hipsters that can tow a Porsche to a track day instead of the other way around that’s when you can call me and say you are ready.

Advertisement

Stop the hype train because I’m not buying. I’m not even interested until it can do its thing, while I do mine.