What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?

My auto club president’s car was damaged by an asshole trying to get the “bro lights” off of his Crown Vic. Literally tied up a cable to the lights, and ripped it off, damaging the vehicle in the process. The hood, windshield (a recent replacement) and the roof, along with the side mirror, were damaged or broken. There was also damage to the frame.

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This occurred at Ringo’s in Beaverton, OR by the NAPA Auto Shop. There is surveillance video of the act.

The vehicle is a black Dodge Ram 1500 with chrome running boards, estimated to be model year 2009-2018. If you spot any vehicles matching this description, please call it in to Beaverton Police Department. Hell, if you hear in the breeze of someone boasting about this shit, call it in! This seems like something some dumbass “frat bro” would brag about.

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If you see any light bars coming up on the local Craigslist, call that in as well. I want this cocksucker caught — he has $10,000 of damage to pay for. Since he has a nice Dodge Ram, I’m pretty sure he can afford it.

The vandalized Crown Vic, dubbed Ash Crime, has a five-speed manual.

Illustration for article titled Calling all Portland-area Oppos! This is an APB, sort of.

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