What is the sound of one piston slapping?
What is the sound of one piston slapping?
Illustration for article titled Can you guess which months involved me buying a house and paying off some student loans?

The answer may SHOCK you!!!

“Isn’t it just the months where your spending obviously exceeded your income?”

... Oh.

“And didn’t you spend, I don’t know, all your time posting every little thing on Oppo? As if we cared? We didn’t, but with you hollering all day and every day, we all know when you bought your house, and when you paid off your student loans. The only thing we don’t know about you is what your favorite flavors of Starbursts are. Oh wait — hold the phone: we do know. Tropical. Fucking tropical. Because you found it necessary to share that, too.”


... :(

[sits down]

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