Y’all get this list now.

  • 1 1987 Toyota Pickup SR-5 22R-TE 2.4
    Best pickup ever. 2wd, LSD, every option save A/C. Totaled by an idiot in a ‘70s Mercury Marquis
  • 2 2010 Volvo S40 T5 R-Design 2.5
    Excellent, if innocuous, little beast. Surprising amount of go, endlessly comfortable
  • 3 1987 900 SPG 2.0
    First car checked off my bucket list. Nothing negative to say (except that it was totaled by a hit-n-run two months to the day after purchase). Loved every minute
  • 4 1995 Dakota SLT 4x4 5MT SLT+ 5.2
    Cash truck that has worked its way deep into my heart. Lurve this pickup. Most Jalop Truck Ever™
  • 5 2001 Impala LS 3.8
    33 MPG on the highway. Supple leather. Good power. Comfortable as all get-out. Loved it
  • 6 2008 Lancer GTS 2.0
    Second new car purchase. Like the 2002 before it, I liked this car a good bit. Fully optioned 5MT with the limited production 18" wheels and goofy spoiler
  • 7 1988 Bronco Eddie Bauer 5.0
    Bought (and used with vigor) for the heavy snow season. Plowed through everything and recovered so many cars from ditches
  • 8 2005 xTerra 6MT 4.0
    4.0, 6-speed manual, fun as hell SUV. 5/7, would buy again
  • 9 1992 F-250 XLT 460
    Powerhouse. Hauled a 33' fifth wheel without a care
  • 10 2004 Mustang GT 4.6
    “Owned” for two weeks. Shoulda known they couldn’t finance a 9 year old car. Still, loved every second
  • 11 1994 Crown Victoria LX 4.6
    Portofino Blue - best color ever. So grandma. So awesome
  • 12 1997 Dakota 5.2
    Good wife’s truck. 2wd sport with 5.2 automatic and long bed. Apparently a bit of a unicorn for 1997
  • 13 1991 Shadow ES Turbo1 Vert 2.2T1
    Guilty pleasure. Traded the 4Runner for it after the Yota blew its rear end
  • 14 2000 Focus ZX3 2.0
    Not unlike the Metro. Previous courier car, bought with 188k on original everything (incl. clutch). Replaced PS pump. Sold to friend at 205k. He killed it :(
  • 15 2004 Jetta GLI 1.8T
    Enjoyed this car until it got totaled (T-Bone). 1.8T, full kit, good car
  • 16 2002 Lancer OZ 2.0
    First new car purchase. I loved this car. Ex-wife destroyed it
  • 17 1987 Cavalier base
    Astoundingly reliable and never gave me a lick of trouble, sold with 220k
  • 18 1991 EX-500a 499cc 
    First (and only) bike so far. Good beginner bike
  • 19 1996 Metro LSi 1.3
    Little rollerskate. No PS/PB/PAnything. Gave its life to save my mother’s when a Chevy Express plowed into her from behind at speed.
  • 20 1987 Saab 900 T16
    Recipient for all the parts I got off the SPG. Died at 350,000 miles.
  • 21 1995.5 Rodeo LS 3.2
    Utility buy. Replaced shit wheels and stock-size tires with AR Outlaw 1s and 31/10.50s. WARN manual locker swap. Capable thing until timing jumped
  • 22 1994 Accord Coupe EX 2.2
    Full kit, nice car. Anemic SOHC-VTEC (yo) 2.2L
  • 23 1993 Voyager Sport 3.3
    Surprisingly fun little van. Nothing amazing though
  • 24 1997 850 GL 2.4
    Cash car after SPG was totaled. Had to replace air pump. Steering rack grenaded on me during a corner, smashed a curb, let the towing company keep it
  • 25 1985 Camaro base 2.8
    Gutless, rod knock, paid too much but it was my first car, first rebuild and MY BITCHIN’ CAMERO
  • 26 2000 Mustang V6 3.8
    I dumped so much into this car and it was never right
  • 27 1997 Jetta GT 2.SLOW
    Ex-wife’s car that I got in the divorce (she got the Lancer). At 100,008 miles I had to replace so much stuff I offloaded it for the Impala
  • 28 1998 Ram 1500 5.9 4x4
    Basketcase. Worst transmission ever. Not enough power out of the 360 to warrant its 12 MPG
  • 29 1993 4Runner SR-5 3.0
    A tad rusty, an emotional purchase, boat anchor 3.0 Automatic, 13 MPG
  • 30 1996 200SX 1.6
    Fuckin’ tin can. Everything was paper thin. Hated it
  • 31 1996 Contour GL 2.0
    Near-worthless but it was reliable
  • 32 2007 Focus SES 2.0
    Shitbox. Worst I’ve owned. PZEV apparently stands for “Practically Zero Enthusiast Value”