Chocolate Toast Crunch: The Oppositelock Review

Cereal reviews are back after a long hiatus.

In shopping with my wife at our local WinCo Foods™, se insisted I try this for science. While I love chocolate like a fat guy loves, uh, chocolate, good chocolate cereals are few and far between. The inability to properly balance sugar additives with the “cocoa” powder leaves most of these either too sweet, or bland and chalky. I wouldn’t even describe myself as cautiously optimistic when I first touched this box: I was a skeptic.


- Scent:

Sells almost exactly like Cocoa Pebbles. But no cereal can out-chocolate those... The surface area and density of the Crunch brand isn’t set up to compete with that standard. Again, my skepticism grew.

- Quality of Adhesion:

Excellent. Everything isn’t swept away immediately into the bath of milk like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, nor is the lake dark brown like Cocoa Puffs.


- Longevity of Texture:

Well above average. This was crunchy to the last bite.


- Pleasantness of Residual Milk:

I know several people who don’t drink the milk at the bottom of a bowl. Frankly, these people can burn in hell.


This milk exceeded my expectations. It was smooth, with no grittiness, almost like a glass of milk with but a droplet of Hershey’s syrup mixed, like from days long since passed.

- But how does it taste?

Oh right. The taste... It was not at all what I expected. Nothing like Cocoa Pebbles, but also not drab or sad like Chocolate Honey Bunches of Oats. It was appropriately sweet. Further, each bite seemed to have a stronger dose of cinnamon. I daresay, yes, the cinnamon is what sets thus apart from other ineffective chocolate attempts seen throughout the cereal world.


- So, has it earned a place in the rotation?

I’m not yet sure. I think I need to consume the entire box before I make such a verdict. When I had Blueberry Toast Crunch, I knew from bite one that it was never going to find its way in my pantry. But this Chocolate Toast Crunch... this has some potential. It’s novel enough to stand alone, but be warned that it’s not a superior chocolate flavor. It is however a superior *cinnamon-chocolate* experience.


Thanks for reading.

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