Alright Oppo, you’ve been hired to replace Santa, who decided to retire after getting tired of ever-higher liability insurance premiums and repeated protests by PETA. The sleigh and reindeer have gone the way of the fat man, so your first (and most important) order of business is to choose a new present-delivery vehicle.

For the purposes of this exercise we’re going to assume a few things:

  • The vehicle is land-based, meaning no flying. You’ll get around each area on land and then teleport to the next continent, where an identical copy of your vehicle will await.
  • To level the playing field, let’s assume that there are paved roads leading to each and every point of delivery. That way you’re not limited to off-road vehicles or hoofing it from the road/path to the chimney.
  • Lastly, like the sleigh, cargo capacity is magically infinite, so it doesn’t matter if you choose a classic Mini or a Super B Train.

So, Oppo Clause, which vehicle do you choose for delivering toys and goodies to good girls and boys?

Illustration for article titled Choose Your Sleigh

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