Every year we have a pot-luck Christmas lunch with a white elephant gift exchange afterward. For some reason, someone decided that the gifts had to be “nice” gifts. I didn’t get the memo.

 

I gave the gift of perfect ear hygiene. While it was definitely the funniest gift of the party, a few of the ladies, including the de-facto office manager, got all butt-hurt about it. Now my name is mud. Since she’s the kind of lady who is known for holding grudges, my name is going to be mud for at least another six months.

The next best gift came in a bowl. Technically, he came in the same kind of plastic container the guy usually uses to deliver egg-drop soup.

If you haven’t guessed, it was a Betta and a small Sponge-Bob Square Pants aquarium to keep him in. I felt bad for the fish. Despite “FRAGILE” being scrawled on the side of the box, someone shook it up a bit to see if it would rattle. The inside of the box was more than a little damp after that. But the fish was fine and it probably experienced worse turbulence during shipping from the fish farm.

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I suppose a few people had fun, but next year, I think I’ll just pass on the party.