Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros: The Oppositelock Review

Here’s a box I couldn’t walk past. You know it’s not going to be good, but how could I stop myself from reviewing an alleged churro-inspired cereal?


Look at these things. Huge pieces. Many over a inch long and 5/16" diameter. Are these really for small children or grown losers like me? It must be the latter. My thought at first blush was, “I bet this is just Cinnamon Toast Crunch with a different shape.” Well, folks. Let me just so that that is 100% FALSE.

[Googles the word “false”]

Oh — did I say false? I meant true. My bad.

Now, I will say this: as a hollow tube, these absorbed milk significantly quicker than your standard CTC, because the milk penetrated the highly-processed membrane from the inside out. This is convenient for enthusiasts such of myself that don’t eat cereal, so as much as they just inhale it.


Usual hallmarks of the legendary CTC still apply: fixin’s jumped off each piece at the mere sight of milk. So being fully bathed? Fugetaboutit. Milk was grainy and tasted sharply of cinnamon. Not all that sweet. I feel this is a byproduct of the above paragraph. My theory being that these super-sponges leave very little residual milk, thus the flavor of said milk is a little too concentrated for my liking.

Truth be told, I like these much more than I thought I would. Quick to eat, didn’t hurt my teeth, and a stupid marketing ploy. Oh, the premium on the Churro box versus the price of original CTC at my local WinCo Foods™? How about... 60%! I paid a $1.50 more for an effectively identical product. That’s how you know I’m a crafty consumer.


Thanks for reading.

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