Safety image above for obvious reasons. Car related at one point eventually doe.

Clowns..... the most terrifying thing ever created by humans besides the IRS.

First, yes, clowns creep me the fuck out! If I see one at a b-day party, I will try my absolute best to avoid it. I won’t scream/run in fear if I am sitting next to one or have to absolutely join it on stage for a skit, but I will be military grade levels of uncomfortable and creeped out.

Let’s cover the basics. The image below is a scary clown.

FUCK! That is the worst thing ever in forever. The next picture though doesn’t effect me one bit


Clowns that are purposely made to be evil or demons are probably the least frightening thing.

I am 30...31? years old and am totally creeped out by clowns, regular clowns. I’ve had friends younger and older than me that share this phobia. Big bad dudes have admitted to me that they get the creeps around clowns to an equal degree as well. For me at least, it stems a couple incidents.


More than anything, I see regular clowns at the circus, carnivals or kid’s parties as predators. They want to drag you away from safety and do bad things whether it’s realistically criminal to something like turning into a fictional being and killing you/locking you up in a dungeon in a different universe.

As a kid, i’d be at whatever place holding my mom or dad’s hand. All is good in the world and happy when a clown is suddenly spotted. Makeup used to emphasize their eyes and mouth. You’re young and this skews your facial expression sensors. Never failed when approaching a clown, first fucking thing they want to do is take you away from your family. It may be for something innocent like make a balloon animal for you or do some magic. Either way, you are at their will and away from your family. Personally, they would always say something in English and at the time, I didn’t know a lick of it. For all I knew, he was going to steal me and lock me up. The full white paint, goofy outfit and facial feature enhancers are not a thing that makes one think of humor or fun. Never failed that when I did encounter a clown as a kid, naturally, I felt in danger and wanted to retreat towards my family. Still, they always grabbed me by the arm until their little trick or show was done thus causing more fear and panic. The fucker could teleport us at any second! I have to escape, god fucking damn it! The theory was confirmed by this one scene from probably the greatest movie in cinema history.... tru fax. Emphases on their facial expressions and criminal/terror intentions despite them supposedly being happy figures.

This post came about after finally seeing the new “IT” trailer. I guess it may be a good movie or whatever but I was really hoping the image of the clown to be as equally terrifying as Tim Curry’s character from back in the day. He was so normal looking and acting initially and THAT is the key I feel to a truly terrifying clown.


Telling jokes, acting goofy and attracting the kids like a normal clown would do IRL. This new guy though seems evil from the get go and of course, zero actual clowns are like this.


Nope... missed opportunity buy the film’s creators.

To finally make this car related, an ode to great clown cars needs to be made by the expert staff at Jalopnik. Jason, i’m looking at you buddy :]


Now.... more motor sport engines!