If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Cow Roaming the Streets of NYC, Proving NYC is the Worst

There’s a cow on the streets of NYC, and NYC being NYC, none of the 8 million people who live there know how to catch a cow. Because food comes from a bodega, obviously. Also farmers and ranchers are terrible people who probably don’t even read The New Republic.

Here’s how a normal municipality handles such an occurrence. Notice the lack of helicopters and panicking.

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