Craigslist Roundup is a place to share and discuss automotive and not-so-automotive listings on the most wonderful website of our era, Craigslist. Feel free to post stuff you find in the comments below!

Today's installment is all about heavy metal machinery. You, yes you, could be the new owner of a tracked, hydraulically-controlled vehicle not entirely dissimilar to a main battle tank! However, unlike a tank, driving most of these things around won't attract undue police attention and they really bring out the inner 5-year-old in all of us. Plus, they'll be easier to register than Doug's Skyline!

Without further ado, here are my daily picks:


1990 M931A2 6x6 Tractor

Price: $9000 clams (actually 27,067 clams at a price of $3.99/dozen)

Miles: 5,500

This thing is all numbers: 6 driven wheels, 8.3 liters of displacement, 10.5 tons, 745 lb-ft of torque at 1,500 RPM. For your 9 grand you get a sweet late-80's action movie camouflage pattern (Arnold/Sylvester Stallone not included, sadly) and since it's a diesel you won't cause the California Air Resource Board to experience a collective heart attack, though that might not be an entirely bad thing. Unfortunately this thing's a slushbox, so AutoX might be a little bit more difficult. But hey, at least you can crush that little shit in the S2K who beat your time.

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2003 Volvo A35D Articulated Rock Truck

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Price: $12,500 big ones

Miles: 38,999 miles

Now, I don't presume to know how you guys get your rocks off, but I do know how you can drop them off in style with this fetching piece of Scandinavian machinery (if you do in fact use Scandinavian machinery to get off, please disregard). Not only does this thing pivot behind the cab so you can really carve some corners, it also has a center-mounted driver's seat like a McLaren F1. It's a perfect car for your teen, since Volvos are very safe in accidents and the yellow paint increases visibility to other drivers.

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Bulldozer

Price: I'm guessing it's not $1

Miles: Not listed, but it's a friggin' bulldozer.

Big, heavy construction equipment always reminds me of a quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

"At eight o'clock on Thursday morning Arthur didn't feel very good. He woke up blearily, got up, wandered blearily round his room, opened a window, saw a bulldozer, found his slippers, and stomped off to the bathroom to wash.

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Toothpaste on the brush - so. Scrub.

Shaving mirror - pointing at the ceiling. He adjusted it. For a moment it reflected a second bulldozer through the bathroom window. Properly adjusted, it reflected Arthur Dent's bristles. He shaved them off, washed, dried, and stomped off to the kitchen to find something pleasant to put in his mouth.

Kettle, plug, fridge, milk, coffee. Yawn.

The word bulldozer wandered through his mind for a moment in search of something to connect with. The bulldozer outside the kitchen window was quite a big one.

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He stared at it.

"Yellow," he thought and stomped off back to his bedroom to get dressed.

Passing the bathroom he stopped to drink a large glass of water, and another. He began to suspect that he was hung over. Why was he hung over? Had he been drinking the night before? He supposed that he must have been. He caught a glint in the shaving mirror. "Yellow," he thought and stomped on to the bedroom.

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He stood and thought. The pub, he thought. Oh dear, the pub. He vaguely remembered being angry, angry about something that seemed important. He'd been telling people about it, telling people about it at great length, he rather suspected: his clearest visual recollection was of glazed looks on other people's faces. Something about a new bypass he had just found out about. It had been in the pipeline for months only no one seemed to have known about it. Ridiculous. He took a swig of water. It would sort itself out, he'd decided, no one wanted a bypass, the council didn't have a leg to stand on. It would sort itself out.

God what a terrible hangover it had earned him though. He looked at himself in the wardrobe mirror. He stuck out his tongue. "Yellow," he thought. The word yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to connect with.

Fifteen seconds later he was out of the house and lying in front of a big yellow bulldozer that was advancing up his garden path." Found here.

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I kinda forgot where I was going with this, so I'm just gonna move on to the next listing.


Grapple Magnet Scrap Handler

Price: $50,000 or all the money you wasted on claw machines in your naive youth

Miles: None, but the seller lists the condition as "good" and since when have people lied on CL?

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I'd never get any work done since I'm operating THE CLAAAAWWWWW.


And that's it for today! Post interesting listings you find in the comments below!

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Side note: when looking for listings, there were several for "Medical Marijuana" in the Heavy Equipment section. Two things that definitely go together.