Every once in a while, I'll go digging through eBay Motors listings to see if I can find anything interesting. I'm a big Mercedes fan (well, at least pre-1995 Mercedes), and pretty often I'll see the desirable 500E sedan pop up there in some random part of the country.

The 500E, if you aren't aware, was a hot sedan collaboration between Mercedes and Porsche. Each car actually was assembled by Porsche at a Porsche plant (for the most part). Porsche played a large role in the design of the brakes, suspension, seats, and engine tuning for the 500E, arguably Mercedes' first factory "performance" car since the old 300SL gullwing coupe of the 50's.

So when I saw this on eBay (link), I felt compelled to share my horror. Here's what this crazy SOB has done to one of roughly 10,000 500E / E500s ever produced, one of 1500 for the model year in the US.

While this is easily the most egregious of his "minor modifications" (his words, not mine), the horror doesn't end there. Those are [heavily used] seats from a W210 E55 AMG, one of the finest Euro-trash interiors of the late 90s. This man threw away the custom-built bolstered Recaro seats and replaced them with... I can't. Just. No.

Oh, and his "custom exhaust" had to be added because the original was shot, and he was too cheap to replace it properly. It's so loud that he's installing a resonator for whoever buys it.

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The grille has been replaced with an absolutely douche-tastic ABS black plastic aftermarket "sports" affair, which have all the quality and craftmanship of a McDonald's toy.

It has an "AMG" rear trunk spoiler, which is apparently simply too disgustingly awful even to be shown in the auction photos.

Blacked-out period-inappropriate AMG monoblocks and a carbon fiber airbox... because why not? May as well come with a matching flipped-collar polo.

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And somehow the ASR computer failed and had to be replaced on a car with a claimed 77,000 miles.

He wants $22,000 for this monstrosity. He'll be lucky to get a third of that.