I do not believe Ice Cream is considered an “essential” item and I suspect that Ice Cream Vans could be excellent vectors for spreading COVID-19 because kids are filthy little monsters who touch everything. Please park your van and quit cruising the neighborhoods.

Illustration for article titled Dear Ice Cream Van Man
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(Actual local Ice Cream Van not depicted. Please don’t track down Mr. Cool and give him any trouble since he doesn’t operate in Louisiana.)

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