If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

Dear Two-Legged Walking Piece of Human Excrement,

Congratulations on becoming the new owner of some very nice, leather BMW ///M driving gloves. They were really comfortable, fit me well, and were a pleasure to use while driving. I was the owner of them since my brother gave them to me for Christmas. I know that your not a member of this great place, because people here are better than you. But, I do know that you found the gloves sitting on a bench in the business and engineering building at Northern Kentucky University. The thought probably occurred to you, that, yes, somebody would come back for them. I really hope, for your own sake, that I never see you wearing them.

May your first born be sewn by another's seed,

Arch Duke Maxyenko

Thanks for letting me vent, Oppo.


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