Here is the situation.

I love hot wings. Eating chicken in hot wing form is typically pretty low on carb but high on flavor. It is superior to most boneless wings as they are essentially just chicken nuggets which tons of breading, occasionally which has so much breading you don’t get much chicken at all. And they’re about 2x calorically dense for less meat.

I am also one of the world’s messiest eaters. After a pile of a dozen sauced wings, I look like a toddler given a bowl of spaghetti. It is so bad that my wife occasionally gives me a full-on look of pity after we eat and suggest I wash up.

I have been googling around and while there are tons of pages showing how to properly eat a hot wing and get the full meat off, nobody seems to be owning the hire out process to do it for someone else.

Service staff at eating places will crack your crab and lobster shells for you, carve a slice of beef out onto your plate, toss your salad, or pour your wine, but they won’t pile a slab of wing meat onto your place with sauce on it. The best you ever get is a pile of wet naps or paper towels.

Why isn’t there a hire service that will allow you to bring a bucket of wings and let you leave with a box of bones and a tray of meat?

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Buffalo Wild Wings has Naked Tenders which is just breadless grilled chicken tenders which are also acceptable, but wings are a messy pain in the ass to get all the meat off properly. I don’t mind getting grease on my knuckles working on my machines but I don’t want to look like Hannibal Lecter every time we do a wing day.

 Does anyone else want wing meat already off the bone that isn’t boneless wings?