As your next Mod, I promise to embezzle the entire Oppo trust fund to pay for my next Camry lease. I will post mean, hateful things and censor all posts that don’t have NSFW pictures in them. I will cross link all Jezebel, Gawker, and any other blogs I see fit, filling your life with crap. I promise to lie convincingly to make you believe I care about your problem and will try to fix it. I promise to make grandiose promises and not follow through with any one them. I will do whatever I want when I get elected, this will most likely consist of not doing anything related to being a Mod. I promise to make shady deals that enrich me while destroying the lives of everyone else. Let’s make my life better while simultaneously making yours worse! I’ll make it yuuuuuuge. It will be the best because I’m really fantatistic. I’m just the greatest.
Vote for greatness!