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Drink Review - Alo "Spring" - Aloe & Mixed Berry & Botulism

I picked one of these up while putting fuel in my pickup earlier and figured it warranted a review on here.

But first: There’s sound in every bottle! The dedicated song that accompanies this drink is “New Leaf”.

I picked this because I was in the mood for something different, it was on sale, and I though “screw it, it can’t be that bad...”

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....In reality, it is that bad and there’s a reason it was on sale. First, despite the appearance of Healthy Shit (tm), one bottle has 34g of sugar. That compares to other drinks, such as a standard can of Monster @ 54g or Red Bull @ 28g.

The taste was not that bad actually. However, the texture was.... liquid with slimy blobs of flavorless sludge floating in it. I looked up a picture of botulism and that’s basically what it was like:

So, I’m not certain if the blobs in the drink were chunks of aloe that were intentionally put there, or chunks of botulism that were there because the bottle was infected. There was so much sugar in it that I’m not sure you could tell a taste difference either way.

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In summary, you should try one if you are looking for the worst possible texture for a drink, accompanied by both the relaxing sounds of some weird hippy shit music, as well as the adrenaline thrill of possibly experiencing botulism side effects - potential nerve damage, difficulty breathing, paralysis, and death. Talk about living on the edge! Through a $2 drink!

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