Hey, all of you climate change deniers, anti-vaxxers, and any other anti-science folk: don’t believe the lies that you can’t look directly at the sun before, during, or after the eclipse. Scientists are greedy hucksters trying to make a buck off of “special” glasses that they really just got for free at the last 3D screening of F8 of the Furious.

Eye safety is just a myth, perpetrated by the Chinese. If you don’t “believe” in science, just go ahead and stare right at the sun. Make sure to watch the entire eclipse that way. How else are you going to recharge your crystals? If your eyes do hurt after staring at the sun, just use a few drops of lavender essential oil. It cures everything else, so why not retinal damage?

The rest of you? Please be safe: https://eclipse2017.nasa.gov/safety