I swear I want to love the Georgia mountains. I really do. The scenery is pretty, and those yellow signs that say, "Warning: squiggly shaped road ahead," are all over the place. That said, every time I visit, the local drivers do their best to convince me never to come back. I've written before about my frustrations with their lack of cruise control, but this last weekend, they were even worse.

You see, instead of the beautiful, sunny, 75* weather that March in Georgia should have, the weather was actually in the low 40s, rainy, and windy, a plan that was clearly thought up by several deceased totalitarian dictators who conspired from beyond the grave to make everyone miserable. But seriously, it's the worst weather ever. Luckily, as I was driving up, everybody else was still in bed or possibly loading up arks in preparation for an oncoming flood. If there had been more people on the road than there were, I don't know if I would have made it. Someone's bro-truck would have swallowed me whole. There was actually one town that I drove through where the right lane was mostly flooded. I would not have been surprised to see people passing me in kayaks.

On my way back, however, the torrential downpour had stopped, the street floodings had disappeared, signs of an oncoming apocalypse had faded, and it was back to just being a generally overcast, drizzly, miserable day (or as my friends in Ireland call it, normal). Unfortunately, that meant that the cruise control-averse locals were all back on the road. If you thought they were bad in the dry, it was even worse in the wet. I've seen squirrels trying to cross highways that were more decisive than some of those drivers. The speed limit went up 10 mph, but you just slowed down 5 mph? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?!?!?

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Collin writes for The Smoking Tire once a week or so but doesn't know if he should go around calling himself a writer yet since he's still in school and pays his bills by being a server at a diner. If you want to get in on Collin's Twitter action, he can be found via @CBWoodard.