If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

El Furgón

Lets face it; your boy-racer, bar-stalking, one-night-standing days are over. Your wife, bless her heart, has given birth to five of your offspring.

Whatever the tax credits were: it wasn’t enough. One thing is to deal with two or three kids, but five? that’s just another ticket. You knew this day would come from early on. You knew one day you’d find yourself excited for this.

Advertisement

Because you wouldn’t go the way people normally go; you wouldn’t buy a stupid SUV or a puny minivan. You didn’t have 2.2 kids, after all. You didn’t buy an apartment downtown, no, you have a house in the suburbs.

So no, when the wife suggested a 100,000 euro GLS 350d, you said no. You went full dad, and got a V class...and it has a Burmister audio system.

How does it drive?

Worse than a Suburban. This rear-wheel-drive van struggles for traction as most of the weight rests in the front axle. Surprisingly, it has a sport mode, and the engine is very responsive up to around 50mph, then it dies. But fortunately you’ll find yourself mostly seeing 25MPG or higher. Not bad.

Advertisement

It doesn’t fall apart in corners as much as I thought it would, it doesn’t corner flat... but it damn near does. On the highway it’s a dream; seating so high up compared to other cars gives you the kind of authority that a dad with adolescent children can only dream of.

The suspension is pretty supple, though I worry about bottoming down in some situations with such long wheelbase; which also makes it very hard to navigate around tight streets or in parking garages. The brakes are pretty good considering the size of this thing. Though my only complain I guess is that the pedals seem offset to the right.

Advertisement

the lane keep is basically useless, I found.

How does the interior feel?

You could place seven adult people in this car comfortably, with enough headroom in every row for me, an 6'2" guy. The headliner is finished in suede, the leather is pretty good, and even if it doesn’t have the best material quality up front, you never feel uncomfortable; the seats have every possible option on them, and the aforementioned Burmister stere0 is so good, it might drown your stupid children’s fights. They even have their own air conditioning and seat ventilation...

Share This Story