So apparently my Charger decided that driving to work was overrated. It instead decided that it wanted to be carried there.
It currently starts and run but won't shift out of park. *no I'm not on an incline *no the steering wheel isn't bound
So here I wait for AAA to come and carry lazy pants and me to work.
EDIT: Thanks for all the help, I apparently didn't know this was so prone to breaking. I'm off to go take my console apart!