I enjoy acquiring used vehicles. I don't enjoy the process of acquiring used vehicles. I have friends that get off on it, which is fine. I don't. I was explaining everything I dislike about it to Darla on our way to a local B lot. Not that I had to, she knows me. We were going to this lot to look at a 16 year old Land Rover (I'm actually looking for a '94-'98, but this '99 was around the block so what the heck). What happens next will (not) shock you.

Grizzled guy chomping on cig directs us to a parking spot (ok, that is kinda odd)

"whatr ya here for?" We called about LR "who'd ya talk to?" Tony. "I'll Let him know you're here." Ok

Tony comes out in all black track suit speaking something close to the english language.

"Oh yer things a beast when wer got that snow we had to dig erthing out first cept her ther built so heavy" uh. ok?

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"good rubber on it all round"

Tires had no tread and were dry rotting. As were the rear side window seals.

"Here are the keys open her up"

Power Locks wouldn't work.

Finally get doors open.

"She's real nice, only 70k miles."

No, that's 170k. And if I couldn't read it on the odo I sure as hell could tell from the wear and tear on the interior.

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"What price was it online?"

Darla "I don't remember" he looks at me "I have no idea" then he says "well I'll getcha a price cuz wer don't mess around on price her."

Of course you don't.

"Go ahead n fer it up"

Won't turn over. I guess that explains the power locks not functioning.

"Oh yeah ur pry not in park"

No, it's in park. It's dead

"Ah sumwun left der lights on. Differnt car, not use to it pry"

Right. Cuz y'all only sell one type of car, right?

"wait an I'll get it...."

Naw, we're good man. Have a nice day.

THE END