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Everything Wrong With: Dodge Viper

This Thing:

Illustration for article titled Everything Wrong With: Dodge Viper

As many of you may know, this behemoth is 8.4L. EIGHT POINT FOUR LITERS. Eight thousand four hundred cubic centimeters of displacement. Over FIVE HUNDRED cubic inches.

Horsepower per liter of various vehicles

2015 Dodge Viper-76.78hp/Liter

2015 Ford Mustang EcoBoost-134.78/Liter

Mercedes A45 AMG- 180hp/Liter

If you haven't noticed a trend here I'll elaborate for you. Since conception, the Viper has been under powered from a technical standpoint. How the engineers who designed this engine managed to get so little horsepower out of this massive block is beyond me.



Illustration for article titled Everything Wrong With: Dodge Viper

Two parts, bear with me:


The noise that comes out of these pipes is similar to what I imagine the Iron Giant sounds like just before climaxing during coitus with one of those big gantry cranes you see on ship yards.


The raucous tone is due in large part to the fact that the V-10 was built on a budget and Chrysler commissioned, then partner company, Lamborghini to develop a V-10 based off of the archaic yet battle tested LA-Block architecture.


It doesn't take a thermal engineer to understand how hot exhaust gets. Paired with the fact this car has more volumetric flow than the Hoover Dam and you get a bucket full of heat.


Let's brainstorm the best places to direct that heat in a car that WILL be driven at 90% more often than not:

1. Next to the passenger's legs

2. See 1.


Illustration for article titled Everything Wrong With: Dodge Viper

Disclaimer- Jalops and Opponauts alike don't kill me, I am a supporter of the Save the Manual Movement however exceptions need to be made.

As good as this manual is, it's a problem.

Let me rephrase that actually. When an automatic isn't an OPTION in 2014, sales will suffer.


End of Story.

I understand that their are logistical issues involved in putting a new transmission into an already established platform. However, with the sensational ZF 8-Speed in Fiat-Chrysler's stable, especially the beefed up version found in the Hellcat cars, this should be a no brainer.


This Website-

When your car is a widow maker Joe Blow who owns the east-coast's foremost chain of dental reconstructive practices is NOT going to purchase one. He's buying something from Stuttgart.



To be clear, I love the Viper and the whole of the SRT Brand. If Mark Troste or Ralph Gilles or any of the FCA staff reads this, I'm sorry. Please don't hurt me, I love your product.


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To keep up with all the bullshit that I do on a regular basis and that is irrelevant to anybody on Oppo


If this gets any response I'll try to make it a regular thing. Feel free to comment corrections below; or leave your opinion where it belongs, the trash.

Also, if you've stuck around long enough to read this, I applaud you. I remember there was a brief period of time where posts SIMILAR to mine were being shared to Jalopnik via Oppo. I cannot remember their name and if someone wants to give credit to the author please feel free. I was mentally drafting these years ago, and took no inspiration from the author's posts however do want to say that his/her work was definitely a good read.

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