Expensive Maintenance : High Maintenance

Roll up your SAT sleeves, peeps. It's Analogy Time!

Illustration for article titled Expensive Maintenance : High Maintenance

I am currently the owner of a 2008 BMW 335i sedan. It's amazing and I love it. It drives like a champ, looks beautiful, and makes me happy every time I open the garage door and start her up. That being said, I am about 3 months away from becoming that guy.

When I bought the car in 2011, it was a CPO'd car, which meant that it came with an extended warranty. I also bought the extended maintenance plan, for which I have become extremely grateful. However, March 22, 2014 all bets are off. I will be on my own come repair time.


I have already expressed to you how much I enjoy driving her, but all this pleasure does come with the caveat that as far as reliability goes, she has a bit of a checkered past. In my roughly 2 years of owning the car I have replaced the high pressure fuel pump (twice), injectors, spark plugs, turbo waste gates, thermostat/water pump, had oil leak down the front of the engine, and had a transmission seal leak. Each time the expensive repair was covered under my warranty, and I have gotten a loaner car each time, but I will soon lose that luxury.

Now, after this (extremely) lengthy intro, here is my analogy:

My car has been like a really hot girl (maybe slightly out of my league, looks-wise), who is, however, also very high-maintenance. She has expensive taste, and a short temper. But when you turn her on, it's ON, and she's down for a great time, every time.


The warranty period that is soon expiring, is like that first period of dating. You know you have kinks to work out and have to shell out a bunch of money on dinners, dates, presents, and so forth. But because of the fantastic bedroom experience, this was all worth it. Yeah, she gets annoyed every time you want to go do something outdoorsy or something doesn't go exactly her way, but when you get home and you make up, everything is fantastic. Three words: Make-up sex/drive.

However, no matter how hot she is and how great she is in the bedroom, there comes a time when her temper, high-maintenance attitude, and expensive taste are just not worth it anymore. I've had my experience with Adriana Lima, now I'm ready to move on to a slightly less hot, but much more even-tempered girl who will ultimately make me much happier. Perhaps an Anna Kendrick.


As a final thought, I have no idea what my Anna Kendrick would be. She has to be practical, good looking, fun to drive ifyouknowhatimean and not too expensive to maintain. Any suggestions?

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