If your Ford had a Matthew McConaughey, it would be a Lincoln

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I dropped two plastic packages of Spax screws at the Home Despot one time and realized that I’d fit all the screws into one package. So I took both packages and paid for the empty one. I routinely drink a cold Monster at Walmart, paying for the empty can at checkout. So I am the Moron who pays for all of their stuff at self checkout.

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