First Gear- '98 Chevy K1500

Save the Squares! Just not this one.

Illustration for article titled First Gear- 98 Chevy K1500
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Back to our regular programming-bashing whatever I'm reviewing. Hang on, this one's going to be rough. Where do I begin. The doors barely work. Like whatsover. Oh and the tailgate is nearly rotted off. Speaking of rotted, there's holes everywhere in this thing. As in I watched pieces fall off as we used it to haul garbage. I don't think there's an intact piece of plastic in the whole interior. Clear Coat? What's that? That's pretty much gone, and what's left is the lovely shade of purple.. brown.. something. The gauges do whatever they feel like. The speedometer works sometimes, and other times it will stay at 30 while parked, and bounce from 10-20 and back again while moving. The gas gauge is in a constant flurry of motion. The aftermarket radio headunit has one of those screens that retract into the unit when turned off. Or it's supposed to, this one stands at full attention 24/7 as if it's waiting for orders from the President to close. And the speakers that were wired in apparently don't work. One does! Just barely. The center console cupholder thing can be removed to reveal.. nothing. Just the inside of the console and the carpet. The good of this truck: The power steering is fabulous. It's lighter than any electric unit I've ever used. I honestly think you could throw the steering wheel, let go, and it would keep turning. Oh, and the transfer case lever has a 90's-tastic diagram of what 4 wheel drive does.

I actually really like these square body trucks. I do. But I wouldn't shame a junkyard with this thing.

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First Gear is a new column, about a kid, a car lot full of new cars, and a habit of noticing random things. It's written from the view of a Ford dealer's lot attendent who for some reason thinks you care about the cars he spends very little time in. He also thinks you actually care about his random thoughts and will randomly post them to Oppositelock at his leisure. Just don't give him an excuse to break into full reviews. He can't handle that level of greatness.

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