I have been to many a dealer in my day while never buying a car from one. GM, Ford, Dodge, Merc, BMW, Toyota and Mazda have all seen my size 9’s trot across there floor but only one to this point had ever looked past me, and that was Tesla.

So its hard to say it was a Tesla dealer since they don’t really do that but it is a place, in a mall, and by all accounts the point of the store is to sell something. I walked in the Chinook mall store and was graced by a production 85 and a body off frame. Me and a couple other fellas’ were there killing time as our significant others wore the strip off the Mastercard from Alfabet to Zoopia.

The one guy stood there musing to someone who appeared to be an auto tech of some sort and a man who’s Dockers suggested something along the lines of dentist/podiatrist/normal guy who’s wife dresses him. I proceeded to look at the colour swatches available, sat in the drivers seat, awed over the aluminium and generally just listened to the sales guy I was basically ignored.

I left the store, sat on a bench, texted the lady friend and went and got a burrito. I walked by the red and white 80’s hair band store entrance again to see two more sales people in the store. One was a lady helping someone fill out paper work and another was leaning on the wall. So I decided to go in and see if I could ask a few questions I had.

I approached the leaner and said something dumb like “Weird to see a car dealer next to a purse store” and the guy smirked and I proceeded to ask him which car this was and got “Tesla” as the response as he looked out the door. I tried again with another question as far as the cold goes here in the frozen north and the batteries. He proceeded to un-lean off the wall and walk to the back area. Not joking at all here either.


Angered and a little hurt on the insidey parts I left the store and proceeded to the Bass Pro to look at the most gas-powered things I could. Sure glad I could help veto Space-X for our next satellite launch.

Lumpy44 is a lance-free writer for the people of Oppo who enjoy gifs and giving For Sweden a hard time. He recently started burning Tesla LP’s in his backyard, and has had intestinal distress from mall Mexican food. He can be reached by commenting here.


Photo Credit: Kelvin M. on Yelp