Hello beautiful people of Oppo, I come with a conundrum.

For the first and probably last time in my life I have sufficient funds where buying a new car won't mean cutting into my food or beer budget (I think we know which budget would suffer). SO to that end, I think the trusty focus needs to go. I've essentially fixed everything on that thing by now anyway, so I might as well toss it before i need to replace the power steering again (lucky number three?).

As you know, or will soon know, I'm an agricultural scientist. And for anyone who knows farmers, or scientists, we have a lot of shit. On any given day my piddly ass focus sedan could be carrying my tools (for inevitable roadside repairs), 15 pumpkins, shovels and hoes (aw yeah), a weather station, four flats of seed plants, a bunch of genotyping equipment, all my sampling gear, myself, my lunch, and that damn audio cord I keep meaning to return at wal-mart. I need a car to accommodate my lifestyle you see.

So buy a truck you say, I have a work truck at my farm. I use it when i need to carry 75 pumpkins, or a shit ton of fertilizer, or 5 crates of seed potatoes and two undergraduate interns (my lunch gets the passenger seat). But I don't always work at my close farm Sometimes I drive to buffalo, sometimes i drive all over the damn state. Once a month I drive back home to Massachusetts for the Mrs to get her hair done and to drink beer with my high school friends in the same bar and basement we've been drinking beer in since 2005. I drive a lot, gas is expensive, you get the idea. Plus half that scientific shit i have to carry shouldnt be out in a truck bed.

So buy an SUV? Same as above, plus I like cars. i like low, sleek cars and wagons. Not big on the suvs.

Which leads me to my options. As all good jalops when I think "I need a new car" of course i say "well then get a miata you ding dong" but thats clearly a terrible idea. So being a resident of Ithaca NY, i of course then say "so get a volvo!" but then i remember how goddamn expensive volvo parts are and how goddamn expensive volvos are out here. So then I obviously settle on buying an ancient BMW and making that work, but I remember my wife's dissaproving look and how small and cold my couch was for sleeping last time I bought a moped, or that time i bought that jeep, or that oldsmobile with no seats.

So that takes me to real options. Like a SUUUUUBAAAARUUUUU

A legacy wagon to be exact, or an outback. I love scoobies, and would love one. But they don't come cheap out here and I'd have to give up having 4 mismatched junk yard tires... plus keeping all those spare head gaskets in my apartment might make the old lady angry...

So how about a fit?

These things look great. They could hold all my shit and still be little. Honda parts arent too bad and they last forever right? Well I had a honda once, and when its transmission exploded all over downtown Amherst Ma it wasnt cheap or easy. And at only 130k! Come on honda, step up.

Or finally, what about one of these bad boys?! BARN DOORS!


I've never had a mini. I don't know anyone with a mini. My first thought is EUROPEAN LUXURY CAR PARTS RUN but i honestly have no idea. Are parts expensive? Do I need to remove the bumper to change headlights like on my old jetta? Will people think i'm cooler? Am i YOLOing enough for a mini? What is a bae? Why are these kids on my lwan? What is a twerk and can i catch it through the internet? So many questions.

What do you think Oppo, how should i spend my income. We're only talking about like 10 grand here after I pay Governor Cuomo and that Geiko gecko.

What buy?