Aug 16:

6:13 a.m. A drunk guy was sleeping on the side of the road.

6:58 a.m. A Kalispell woman was refusing to leave her friend’s camper.

8:04 a.m. A shirtless man was walking around a field.

8:16 a.m. A man was driving around town throwing firecrackers out the window.

10:41 a.m. A phone was stolen.

10:52 a.m. A self-described “constitutionalist” was having trouble with law enforcement.

12:05 p.m. Someone tried to break into a local business that sells huckleberries.

1:01 p.m. A baby was locked in a car.

1:24 p.m. A plume of smoke was reported in the mountains. It was the first of many.

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1:53 p.m. A dog named Winston was wandering around Kila.

1:55 p.m. A Whitefish man hasn’t paid his rent in months and his landlord wants him out.

3:33 a.m. Firefighters doused a campfire.

4:10 p.m. A “sovereign citizen known to carry guns” was having trouble with his roommate in Bigfork.

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6:03 p.m. Storage units were broken into in Bigfork.

6:08 p.m. A local man said his parents were missing in Canada.

7:39 p.m. Three people were fighting in Bigfork, one of whom was a “sneaky liar” with a “sinister spirit.” The fight was apparently so intense that no one felt safe going to sleep. Also, everyone was armed.

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8:08 p.m. A “galavanting goat” was reported in Coram.

August 15:

6:41 a.m. The employee of an Evergreen business triggered an alarm.

9:02 a.m. A Kalispell man pocket-dialed 911.

9:24 a.m. Two ladders, a bottle of propane and an extension cord went missing in Kalispell.

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9:31 a.m. A shoplifter was caught on camera.

11:01 a.m. A busted toolbox and an empty Crown Royal bag were found in Evergreen.

11:06 a.m. A bunch of nails were found on a road.

12:04 p.m. County property was damaged.

1:12 p.m. A Hungry Horse man reported having worms crawling under his skin. He insisted he was not under the influence of anything.

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2:28 p.m. A neighborhood dispute in Kalispell was quickly escalating.

4:25 p.m. A Kalispell man reported that he broke his ribs.

4:35 p.m. A biker zipped past a man in his car and “slapped” his window for no apparent reason.

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4:47 p.m. A road rage incident was reported in Kalispell. Apparently, a driver got out of his car and walked over to another car and knocked on the window “with anger in his eyes.”

5:18 p.m. A family leaving the water park pocket-dialed 911. The only thing they had to report was that they had a grand old time cooling down on an otherwise hot day.

5:51 p.m. Two garbage bags were reportedly dumped in the middle of the road in Martin City.

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9:49 p.m. A man was shooting off fireworks in Bigfork.

Aug 14:

6:46 a.m. Two cows — a small one and a big one — were reportedly on the loose in Whitefish. Farmer Joe, the owner of the cows, wanted help getting them back.

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8:52 a.m. A Whitefish woman called 911 looking for a “certificate of good behavior.”

10:59 a.m. Trespassers “with an attitude” were allegedly trespassing in Lakeside.

11:17 a.m. A Bigfork woman called to complain about the local shooting range.

11:30 a.m. Fuel was stolen in Kalispell.

11:37 a.m. A duffle bag was found in the woods.

12:27 p.m. A Columbia Falls man let his friend borrow his generator and now he wants it back.

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12:57 p.m. There was a deer with a broken leg in Kalispell in need of assistance.

1:41 p.m. A Kalispell man called the sheriff’s office to let them know that he’s an organ donor.

2:19 p.m. A woman buying coffee at a local coffee hut pocket-dialed 911.

2:38 p.m. Clothing was found in the woods.

2:55 p.m. A baby bumped his head.

4 p.m. A Kalispell woman was having trouble with her boyfriend’s ex-wife.

4:59 p.m. A local man promised to deliver “Montana justice” on his enemies.

5:37 p.m. Beer cans were strewn about an area road.

6:18 p.m. A car was stuck in the road.

7:28 p.m. Two men named Bob were fighting each other in Kalispell.

7:43 p.m. A dog has been running around Evergreen for two days.