I’ve been away for a while, undergoing the 9-month process (for me) of buying a new car. This Pon Farr-like craze hits me about once every 3 years. The past few months have been a fevered crescendo. I’ve test driven nearly 20 vehicles, from GTI’s to 5-series, and sat in another 30 or so (some were just different trims of the same car). I’ve watched at least 500 car review videos. After all of this, nothing has tickled my fancy as much as the Toyota Tundra.

I’m a very large individual (6’7” 360lbs), which is the overriding force behind all of my car buying decisions, but my last 4 autos have been cars. In fact about 80% of my automobiles ever have been cars, many of them smallish cars. This time around, I had a work truck to trade in, my Maxima’s lease was running up, and I decided it was time to treat myself to a large vehicle.

I was surprised to find I only fit in one full-sized pick up well, and that was the Tundra. That’s not the only reason I’m buying one, though. After having driven the F150, Silverado, Ram 1500, and Titan extensively, I found the Tundra’s drive train to be far an away the best. It’s straight out of the Land Cruiser, don’tchyaknow. It revs effortlessly and makes a fantastic noise. In addition to that, there’s a great interior with far and away more room for just 5 people than I’ve ever seen allocated to just one vehicle, seriously, the backseats are amazing.

I’ve got my monies gathered, I know I want a Limited or Platinum in gray, silver, black, or white (in that order of preference), but I’m having an extremely difficult time finding an even remotely OK Toyota dealer to talk to. If anyone knows of even a halfway decent Toyota dealer in the state of Florida, please, I beg you to let me know who they are in the comments below. I just need someone who’s Oppo-approved enough to provide basic details about accessory installation and can all-around give it to me straight.

Help me Oppo-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.