Desperation and boredom breeds ingenuity. So I figured out how to install and torque the flywheel by myself! Turns out it was pure genius.
After degreasing and applying red threadlocker to the flywheel bolts, fitting the flywheel to the crank itself was easy enough. I did have to take it off and redo it to make sure the flywheel/crankshaft/crank-sprocket timing marks were all lined up; lest I wanna have messed up timing marks because of a hasty installation.
Then, I threaded a pressure plate bolt into the flywheel, and wedged the
top half of my floor jack “cheater bar” between it, the bottom of the car, and exhaust manifold, and cranked the bolts to 74ft-lbs. It held, and each bolt had a once-over for my sanity.
Next Wednesday, the clutch, pressure plate, and hopefully the bellhousing and torque tube will go back in place!