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Funny Story Time

Several years ago, when I was a wee lad, my grandparents took me to the big city to see a movie. And to go to a doctor’s office.

The movie is inconsequential to this story, so the doctor’s office is where we begin, seated along the wall of a large waiting room, leafing through a two-year-old issue of Field & Stream and trying to put as much distance between myself and the funny-smelling woman in the chair next to me as possible. I believe it was a gastroenterologist office, but I could be mistaken. It’s been a long time.


I was toward the end of a riveting story about a grumpy, old hunting guide when an elderly man, in cargo shorts, high socks and sandals, and his wife walked in.

The wife went to check in at the desk while the man made his way to the middle of the room.


The man, apparently having something crucial to share with the room, announced his presence, “Excuse me everybody.”

“This morning my wife walked into the bedroom and said, ‘Oooo, your legs are pretty.’”

“I said, ‘Well, thank you dear. You’re pretty good lookin’ yourself.”

“She said, ‘You didn’t let me finish, your legs are pretty white.’”

The man paused and gestured like a bad comic, begging for the awkward laughter and smattering of claps that followed. His story finished, the man sat down next to another unfortunate soul who he appeared to know. Probably from other visits to this particular office.


Today it occurred to me that said man is probably dead.

Thank you for enjoying Funny Story Time with Jake.

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