If you haven't seen the New Mercedes G Class video, check it out below. Then join me and this mountain lion in the collective face palm...or paw...whatever.

Look, the G 4x4² is a cool machine in that its like the raptor of the touring wagon world but this ad is the worst parts of what the G-class has become. Lets break this video down to show why:

growl - mountain lion - roar vroom. This part of the video says "I know you want a wolf howling at the moon t-shirt but you have too much money so that would be uncouth, and you can't actually walk around with your nuts hanging over your shoulder so use this over the top savage man imagery as a substitute." It's even worse than American full size truck ads, and that's saying a lot.

Smoosh rocks, water splash, screw you nature! This is part of the video that's speaks to the wealthy desire to dominate and control all around them, instead of the idea that hey...maybe nature isn't your bitch, maybe its something to respect and enjoy. And you know, I'm all for bounding over hill and dale at high speed, I think that's great but this edit isn't showing the joy of off-road motorsport, its showing a contempt for nature. This is the equivalent of standing on top of a mountain peak and screaming "Screw you nature, I beat you and I am now your master!" Which anyone who's spent time in the outdoors in the extreme will tell you if that's your attitude....

Into the tunnel and *POOOF* you're tom cruise. Seriously, the whole dirt tires to street tires switch is as laughable here as it was in Mission Impossible 2. Even better, this magic tunnel is also a car wash! You haven't made it in life until you own your own magic tire changing car wash tunnel.

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Carving mountain switchbacks - um...no. Even in this video its obvious the G hates doing this...a lot. What are you trying to say here anyway Mercedes? I'll tell you. Mercedes is selling you on the lie that the G class, even in its most extreme, is all things to all people and ready to take on the twisties. That you CAN have it all, a canyon carving mountain dominating super machine. Here's the deal...you can't.

And then, after a long day of bending God over your knee you retire to your urban fortress of solitude to prepare once again to do battle with the captains of industry. Mercedes actually has the nerve to try and sell people on the idea that, because you get "street wheels and tires" with your G class that its a perfectly acceptable urban conveyance. Look, I drive a lifted Land Cruiser 30 miles to work and back everyday so I don't personally subscribe to the idea that off road vehicles should never be used in the city but you have to be insane to think that a vehicle like this is equally at home on the 9-5 as it is doing what was shown earlier. Want proof that this is no city dweller? look at the height difference The g500 and the G4x4²

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(photo credit GTSpirit)

Yeah, that seems like a perfectly acceptable city car. Again, I don't care about driving lifted trucks in the city if that's what you want, but 'Cmon Mercedes. This is Mercedes talking directly to their clients last shred of common sense and quietly stuffing a silk pillow over its face. Shhhh shhh shhh little common sense...it will all be over soon.

Again, I want to make it perfectly clear that I don't hate on the G500 4x4² (aside from the stupid name that is a pain to type/read/say), in fact I think the vehicle itself is super badass, as Patrick George said but this video is the worst kind of garbage and...sadly...only reflects that Mercedes knows its client base all too well.