Tonight, oppobros and bro-ettes, I'm gonna teach you a bit of history. Drunk history. Drunk history about a plane. and odd plane, being short and fat like Danny DeVito, or Dirt Nasty's dick (his words, not mine)

Anyway, before I was talking about dwarf actors who were fellow alumni of Wannamassa Elementary School, I figure I aughtta jump right in and explain this weird fuckin' plane. Here goes:

The GeeBee Model R (and my favorite version, and favorite plane ever, R1) was -I believe the scientific term is- THE MOST SKULL-FUCKINGLY MENTAL RACING PLANE EVER. Seriously, look at this fucking cross section:

See that shit? That's a 800hp, 22L, 296mph Pratt&Whitney Wasp radial 9cyl with a seat and some wings attached. Why? BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT! The plane was a handful to fly, dick slapping all but the absolute best pilots back to earth.

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Look at that. That was a thing. A thing that flew. A thing that flew in races. AND IT DID REALLY GOOD!!!!

I can not stress this enough- a plane called the "GeeBee" that looked like that was absurdly successful at racing, finally bridged the speed gap between land and sea planes (apparently it was a big deal or something)

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It also killed a bunch of people. Remember when I said it was a handful to fly? IT CRASHED AND BURNED AND WAS REBUILT 4 GODDAMN TIMES. I guess they made the fuselage so cartoonishly big to fit whoever flew it's balls. Eventually, some jackass new owner put bigger gas tanks on it, much to the dismay, and against warnings by the designers, and it promptly crashed and burned a final time. SUCK IT, PLANE RICER. Anyway, that's a brief history on my favorite plane of all time, enjoying it since I was like 8. And remember…..want a winning combo?

SIMPLIFY AND ADD MORE MOTOR.