Took another video of the engine noise from the Cx500. If it is anything other than piston slap or a spun main bearing I can fix it. Rod bearings? No problem. Timing chain tensioner? Got it. Engine should come out tonight and I can start strewing the parts all over my buddys new shop.
And of course as soon as I figure out the problem I’m going to drop $100 on Jake’s Basic Bitch Cafe Racer Kit and paint the engine black.