“I need you to move the day my payment comes out. I got a new job and get paid on a different schedule now” “Uh, ok. Why does the payment date have to change?” “Well it needs to come out the same day I get paid or I’ll spend it all”



Also read this in the voice of a fat-ass ghetto white trash lady in a Chrysler minivan with her eight demon crotchspawn and 400lb husband wearing a baseball cap, wifebeater, and oh jesus are those boxer shorts dude put some pants on for the love of god.

So basically if she had a Bible in one hand and meth in the other she’d be Kansas personified.

I mean, I’m consistently broke because of my spending, but at least I’ve never missed a payment on anything ever. Can’t say I miss that job, though.